Raising Baby: What I want you to grow up like.

It’s crazy, as an adult – I have memories of various times of my life where I wanted to be various things. I wanted to be a dancer, a horse rider, a teacher. I wanted to be a baker. I wanted to be able to swim really good, and do gymnastics really good. I remember everyone asking me, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and I always had an answer. It wasn’t until I was nearly finished at high school, that suddenly what I want to be, became what I thought I was good at. What I could do well. What I ‘thought’ I was good at. The list of what I wanted to be, became very small – as I realised I wasn’t actually as good at as much as I wanted to be.

Growing up, My parents never had much money. I didn’t do dance classes, or music classes. I didn’t have a horse like some of my friends. I played after school tee ball – but stopped that by the time I was 8. You just sort of come to realise, that life will be, what it will be.

As an adult, I have realised it’s not what we are, or what we want to be that’s important. It’s how we do it. It’s where we place our passions.

As a Mother to Emelia-Michelle, I am faced with the challenges of where to guide her, and where to allow her to guide herself. I have parented her, in a way that support’s her natural development and growth – allowing her to move and maneuver as she feels she can, and is ready to. So why would this development be any different? Why would I struggle to know to guide her, yet also let her take the reins herself.

But it’s quite an overwhelming feeling when suddenly you have this person, that will one day be out in this big crazy wide world. And it’s up to me, her mother to support her through her discoveries, her mistakes, her special moments – while she figures out what she wants to be, what she is good at, what she wants to be good at, and what lifestyle she wants to fit herself into. I’m excited at the future prospect of my little girl conquering the big wide world and doing what she wants to do. But I’m so scared. It’s equally as daunting as it is exciting, at the thought my little girl will infact be out there doing something big one day.

I only hope and pray, that the tools I give her, the opportunities she has, and the experiences she has allows her to develop her own thoughts, strengths, and loves so that she knows she can find her little spot in the world, the little spot reserved just for her.

Emelia-Michelle my darling, I don’t want you to be anything you don’t want to be. I don’t want you to go places you aren’t interested in. I don’t want you to surround yourself with those who don’t have your back. I don’t want you to get stuck in a job you’re unhappy with.

I want you to surround yourself with people who support you. I want you to surround yourself with people who love you. I want you to take new opportunities when they arise. I want you to feel safe, and comfortable, and secure. Emelia-Michelle, my darling – I want you to grow up; and know that you can be anything you want too be. Some things will come natural, some things will require work. But if you guide yourself, and let me guide you – you can in fact conquer the world.

Baby girl, you got this crazy ride.