30 Weeks πŸ’•πŸ’•

The countdown officially begins now. We’re down to single digits! I told myself that from 30 weeks onwards, I’d start preparing babies things a lot more in depth. From now, and for the next however long she decides to stay in me fore. So now, I need to start washing and drying her tiny clothes. Wash all her linen and make her bed. Pack her hospital/birth centre bag. Tick all the final purchases off the list, and complete all the last minute preparations. My head is sort of going a little crazy at the idea that there really isn’t much left at all to do, much longer to wait.

Apparently this week she’s the size of a large cabbage. It does not feel like that long ago – she was the mere size of an apple seed. 

Keeping her name a secret is getting hard – people are asking; people are giving me the hurry up to tell what it is. I keep saying I haven’t decided; but I have. It’s just easier to make out like I don’t know rather than to say I do; and have them pester me! 

Baby shower is this weekend too. Not far away at all. I hate being in the spotlight so I hope it’s all rather casual and chill. I kept it small and intimate. So hopefully it’s fine! Just got a few last minute things to sort tomorrow and the day after. 

As for how my nerves and everything are settling down, or rearing up in my case. The fear of being a parent is really kicking in. I know becoming a parent is literally the BIGGEST change of a persons life. From now on, there is permanently that biological attachment to a little person – from now; until forever. I have all these thoughts and prayers about what parenthood will be for me. All these dreams and hopes. But the things I pray for the most, are that as my little girl grows and develops she learns love, she learns respect, she learns compassion. I pray that we have a relationship where she is proud to look up and call me her mum. And that she trusts me to make all the best decisions for her, and for her life. As I put my hand on my belly as it wriggles and bumps; it really cements – she is alive; she is ok. She is growing, thriving. My body is giving her the nourishment to grow. It is giving her the nourishment to develop. She is safe from harms way – because of her safety in me. When she’s born; the big wide world is a scary place. And I hope the things she experiences in life are all for the greater good. That she is never alone, that when she is scared – she has people to call on. That when she feels sad, she has people to comfort her. That as she goes through all stages of life – everyone is on her team. In her sideline. It’s a scary thought bringing a little person into this scary life. But I pray with all my heart – that she has the best life possible; regardless of whatever curv balls come her way throughout her life. 

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28 Weeks 1 Day πŸ’•πŸ’•

28Weeks. Third Trimester. How is it that time already?? How is this the last trimester before little one arrives? 

Everyone keeps saying they think she’ll arrive early, they keep saying that I look like I won’t last until 40 weeks. I mean, I know a good chance I won’t. Anytime from 37w is technically a full term baby here. My leave doesn’t start until 38 weeks. However I do have some reserved, for just incase she arrives early and I need to leave work early. I’ve sent all my parental forms in now – so just waiting to hear back on my maternity pay while I’m off work so things really are all but ready for her to come. However, when people say they think I’ll go early, I really hope they don’t mean too early. Like at least let me get to 35w! 

I had a dream last night that I was at home in bed, and I could see her wriggling her feet and her back along my belly. Now some people find this amazing, I find it creepy and weird. So it doesn’t actually excite me all that much. Anyway in my dream I was texting my boss about it, and she said just poke her back in and she’ll be right. ANYWAY me poking her back in – poked her right out! Waters burst, baby came out – before I even had a chance to call my midwife or get anywhere. I was 28w in my dream, so now. Not long after she arrived she lay there naked and goopy on my bed breathing fine – just extra tiny while I rung my midwife in a panic. She’s here! She came! What do I do?! I woke myself up from there, and could not for the life of me fall back asleep. These sort of dreams freak me out… I know you get weird dreams about baby and pregnancy while pregnant – but I really haven’t had too many dreams so far! And the ones that 100% could happen, are the ones that get me the most. 

So despite my dreams and what people say – please hang tight my little lady. You might be measuring ahead size wise; but you’re still much too little. And as over pregnancy as I am, I need to keep you safe and snug for a little while longer yet!

12 weeks to go now until 40 weeks! 9 weeks to go until 37 weeks. 

27+1 Weeks πŸ’•πŸ’•

“A rainbow baby is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravage of the storm. When a rainbow appears. it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not dealing with it’s aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of darkness and clouds”

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My little, not so little lady at a random spontaneous scan yesterday. I felt the leaking a few more times since my last update, so at my appointment I ended up talking to my midwife and getting a scan booked to check amniotic fluid levels. Chances are the leak was amniotic fluid, but it seems to have settled and replenished now. Phew! As completely over pregnancy as I am, I want to keep my little one as snug as I can for as long as I can. She’s growing well! Currently measuring a full week ahead, and nearly 3lb. The sonographer joked I could be in for a big baby.. I see no joke! Least it means she’s healthy though. So despite the leakages etc, there seems to be no cause for concern and bubs is going to sit tight for her last couple of months (hopefully!).

 

26 Weeks πŸ’•πŸ’•

I can’t believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I last “updated” – it seriously feels as though it was last week…. In fact, I almost didn’t even do a post today – because I was so sure I had just done one! I don’t feel like a whole lot has changed, but I’ll update anyway. 
Everything seems to be going ok at this stage, still trucking along. Still able to tummy sleep. Still able to work fully and not have to clamber up and down steps. Things are starting to semi settle, and I feel sort of at another stagnant, stuck point. I’ve got most of the big stuff sorted. Cot, Carseat, Drawers, Buggy etc. I’m just finalising all the little things from here on out. Trying to decide what I need, what I want, all those sort of things. I was talking to my boss the other day about pregnancy – and suddenly realised that it’s nearly the 25th October. And when it is, I’ll only have 3 months left of being pregnant. From today, it’s exactly 14 weeks until my due date. All I think is how quickly my first 12 weeks actually disappeared – and how realistically; 14 weeks is not long at all. Considering that 14 weeks is my countdown to 40 weeks. And really, baby can come anytime – and birth after the 37th week can be considered full term. I only have 11 weeks until 37 weeks in that case! Crazy! 
I am finally feeling baby girl more consistently now, Not every day – and no specific pattern of when I feel her; but I definitely feel (and see!) her spontaneous little kicks and her rolls and wriggles that go on in me. The other night, I had a “little” scare, but it must’ve just been her moving. I feel this weird feeling in my tummy – then I was sitting down with the cat, and next minute I feel a small gush of fluid come out. My first thought was just pregnancy mucus, but then when I went downstairs my underwear was actually soaked. Not through to my pants luckily, but enough for me to think shit did I just piss myself, or did my waters just leak? I still don’t know what it was… It didn’t smell like pee – and I didn’t even need to pee at all, but there were also no symptoms of it being amniotic fluid. So who knows. We came to the conclusion, that baby must have just completely moved and moved something in me – that made it happen. Still unknown what fluid came out, but I like to think I didn’t pee myself πŸ™ŠπŸ™Š 

Still trying to decide who will be at her birth, a few people have been told they can attend – but now that the time is coming I’m really not sure. I don’t know how to let them down, but also I need to make sure I am clear because birth is not just a coffee date or movie date that you can just suck it up for. It’s my babies birth, and whoever is there needs to be there for all the right reasons. 

I have picked her name now – but won’t be releasing it until she’s born, just incase when she’s born my mind changes! And I figure that her name will be the one surprise for everyone πŸ™‚ She has a first name, middle name and last name. (One thing I have decided to listen to all your advice, and she will be taking my last name).

I think that’s all for now πŸ€” My next midwife appointment is in 5 days, so if there’s anything to report then – I will. 

2017 Mug Exchange!

I seriously love these mug and sock exchanges that come up throughout the year. I think my first one must’ve been about 2014, 3 – nearly 4 years ago now! And it’s crazy – to think that throughout that journey; I’ve achieved so many milestones. The first was the start of my TTC/IVF journey, the second was my place just opening up. The third was after my miscarriages and midway through my IVF journey. Now – this one, my fourth I am 23 and a half weeks pregnant with my third little baby – and my 5th little embryo. Yet my first child I am bringing earthside. It’s always been a nice little “pick me up” getting a little surprise ready for someone else around this world, going through a similar walk in life. And also, knowing that somewhere else in the world – someone is also thinking of you and your journey. There’s only another week or so to sign up – but I SO totally recommend it. The opportunity is well worth it.

It’s time for our 2017 TTC Mug Exchange! Wooohooooo! Last time we had over 1500 ladies participate and it was a BLAST! All women in all phases of infertility (trying to conceive, pregnant, adopting, new moms, etc… more details on this below!) are invited to participate. I absolutely LOVE how all of these women come together toΒ […]

via ttc mug exchange 2017. β€” Trials Bring Joy

23 Weeks πŸ’•πŸ’•

Current Feelings: How quickly time is disappearing, has me worrying! My workmate is away next month, then I’m away for a week, then soon enough it’ll be Christmas – then her due date will be creeping up! I am struggling to work out what to organise and in what order. My friend who is organising my baby shower has ordered the invitations to post out.

Symptoms still being noticed: HEARTBURN. Still the worst! And also my belly button is disappearing.
Total weight gain so far: I haven’t actually weighed myself this week. But I seem to fluctuate between 55 and 57kg. Depending how much I throw up, or manage to keep down.

Purchases this week: Trying to be practical this time. I have upgraded my single electric pump to the double electric pump from the same range. Love to Dream Swaddles, hoping these will make the first days easier. I got NB size so far in summer light bamboo thickness. And think that’s about it so far!

Weeks to go: 17, the idea of being truely over half way is sinking in now. The reality that one day this baby will be here, hasn’t quite. But the weeks are bit by bit dropping away.