1 Month.

Evie-Paul; you passed the 1 month milestone. Well done my sweet girl! We made it. It hasn’t been an easy month; we knew it wouldn’t be easy though. But we’ve made it here. So far we’ve dealt with every feeding issue under the sun. You’re growing well – so it’s all paying off; but little girl – it is hard. We’ve gone through feeding you via a syringe, to a haberman specialist bottle, to a Nuk bottle, back to the syringe, and then to the Dr. Browns specialist bottle – to now a nasogastric feeding tube with small bottle top ups along the way. All you really want is to breastfeed; and boy does it break my heart that you can’t. You weigh 4.16 kg. That’s a total gain of 800grams. Wowsers baby. Nearly a kg! You lost a bit in your first week, fluctuated a little while we navigated feeding issues – but luckily put it back on. The feeding tube is helping now and you are on the home straight with growth. You wore prem size “00000” for your first 3 weeks; and now you wear newborn size. Some newborn stuff is still too big. Your little legs have a little roll on each leg. It’s strange; you’re chunkier than your big sister – but small in clothing fit? You must have shorter wee legs and fill them out differently!

Although things are hard – you love your snuggles; especially upright ones. They help your reflux feel better, and they help Mama feel better too. You feed almost every 3 hours; but you’re such a hungry girl you’d eat every hour if you could! It’s a hard balance; as you are also suffering gnarly reflux – so it’s causing a bit of a vicious cycle for you. I’ve struggled to tell when you’re hungry, or just sore. It’s a lot different exclusively bottle/tube feeding. They keep telling me not to over feed you – but it’s hard when you do seem hungry. Hopefully soon it’s lessened and you’re in a nice 3-4 hourly routine. It’s tiring expressing breastmilk for you; as you are unable to breastfeed properly (though you certainly try), but I do it. It’s what’s best for you – and at this point we’re unsure how you’ll go with dairy. So we’re cautiously optimistic on that front. You’ve definitely had formula the odd time though. Sometimes I wish you could formula feed exclusively. But then when I see those little rolls with Mama’s milk – I know you are doing well. I still hold onto hope that you can breastfeed after surgery; but it could be an unrealistic expectation. You have lots of nurses and doctors supporting you through these feeding troubles though. Your reflux is medicated now; and we’ve trialled a few different doses. It seems to be helping; woohoo. The only thing is – as you grow we will have to see the GP and get it adjusted. It’s certainly a big adventure we’re on. But little Evie girl – you are so loved; and all your family on the other side of the country just can’t wait to meet you.

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